“Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today” (James Dean)
Langit Kelabu..
Awan bergumpalan..
Angin menderu.. sekejap laju.. sekejap perlahan..
Nampak antara tidak.. mentari bersembunyi di sebalik awan..
Maybe 35 is the right age to get married.. another 6 years.. I should be a grown up lady by then, more than ready.. fit to be a wifey and mother.. Right now, I should do what I should..
LEARNING!
*Lara Lagi*
Phew.. I've been uneasy few days earlier.. friends told me that the exam result will be released on 3rd Aug., which is today.. (very fast??) I waited for it & finally, straight to my email it goes! Although am not excel, but I'd passed all subject.. Yay!! Thanks to Coach A who never give up on me.. Friends that always to support and share my feelings.. Awwwhh you guys are wonderful~
Now.. what I'm sure to do next is, to reduce subjects taken for the next semester. I know how my brain works; fast and many-not me.. not young anymore and am not i used to be.. so, lets start from scratch now JacJac! =)
Thanks God.. Thanks Mak n Apak.. Thanks sisters.. Thanks lecturers..
Nitey nite heart!
July has been an emotional month for me.. referring to the posts that I'd made.. =P I admit, its kinda disturbing to read unhappy thing.. Perhaps, that was because the final semester exam dilemma I'd experienced.. (nice cover! lol) Alright there.. I'll try to avoid writing such posts in future (finger cross!)..
Lotsa events happen recently.. Can't recall and can't write it all here.. am just thankful for being given the opportunity to live another day; to learn and to search, and to discover.. My beloved Inek (grandma) pass away on 22nd June.. My big boss invited me to accompany him to Russia for an official visit, but I refused because I had no passport, and my final exam is around the corner (to be exact, I don't like going overseas for work for the first time.. really made me nervous.. especially when you need to attend to VIPs? furthermore, Russia is a cold country.. I hate cold.. ahaha).. my big boss however, said, he may want to consider bringing me along in his next trip (Korea? India? Japan? muehehe).. My final exam ended on 13th July.. Puasa starts on 21st July.. Chombie died due to virus attack.. Payday on 26th July.. Got Duit Raya on 8th August as per announced by PM on 26th July.. on the same day, I discovered I had this 'health situation'-hurmm... Shop online on 27th July (oopss! does that count? ngeee).. Days in between: the same old routine.. (booorrinngg..)
I do notice that, there are no excitements, no sparks in my life.. Yes, I am a dull-play safe person.. This lead me to a monotone, boring, ambiguity (of my future) situation.. Am totally an insecure (scare at all time, to anything, to anyone!) and too-relaxed (what will be, let it be) lady.. Looking back to my pass-hu'uh.. not interesting at all! Ahaks..
-what an introduction-
It is never too early.. never too late.. to realize and to step back into reality.. mine is just yet to come.. looking at peers' life, they are doing pretty well indeed.. as for me, I felt that am still station and not moving at all.. gheez.. need to change that baby.. desperately.. must.. ! Stand on my own and listen to my heart and instinct.. that would be a good start, rite?
So.. so.. so..soooo...
There are lotsa things in my mind that I would like to do.. Lets see what happens next.. =)
Happy Ramadhan to Muslim friends and Happy weekend..
#Life is a rollercoaster#
Hurting people
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Ignoring people
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Emotionally laden
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I am timid. Have a very small heart. Have little achievement.
If there's a possibility to resign as the eldest child, the eldest siblings, the most senior at work.. I would do that immediately..
I didn't function and play well..
*Monday Blue Overdose*
When you are meeting dead ends, you will feel that it is the end of the world. Feeling helpless, down, empty, station.. Often we will be advised to deal with it as follow:-
(i) Stop a while. Calm yourself. Take some of your time. Tell yourself that tomorrow might be better than today
(ii) Let the feelings that hurting you will not causing you to hurt yourself and anybody else especially who is dear to you.
(iii) Always share your feeling with your parents and good friends. It will help you to ease the pain and certainly lift your burden. Of course, the almighty is the best to surrender your sorrow.
(iv) Ask yourself and sit for a while whether is it worthy to get angry or upset
(v) Learn from the past and try to figure out on how to do better next time.
(vi) Never judge yourself. Failing at something doesn’t mean that you are a looser
In my case, it is other people who are disappointed with me. They have high expectation on me but over and over again, I let them down. It is rather stressful especially when you know that you can’t do anything up to their expectation. Maybe the best way is, to let it be like that and just find way to make things better. Perhaps, moving to a new environment would help? Changing everything like reformatting a PC may not as easy as it seems. Theories always sound nicer than the actual setting.
Hope to find what and see what people always want me to be.. =)
Oh yeah! Musim peperiksaan kembali.. musim menggoreng asal boleh dan nmpk sedap.. ngee.. sem kali ni mmg aku akui aku maseh trauma dgn sem lps. Pheww .! Kalo boleh xkan ku ulangi tragedi itew.. ngaaii! Aite.. esok paper kedua aku taw. Subject HR Dev. Coach A kata, sng je. Relate dgn opis kite katanya. Amboii.. ada secubit grm di situ.. aku da bace n conteng. Hrp dpt la jwb besok. Kalo nak A+, aku kene jawab betul sumanya.. muahahah... Doakan kejayaanku hokeh n aku rase untung amek subjek ni coz aku dpt lihat dgn lebih jelas apa itu HR.. xdalah master smpy boleh jadi HR Manager.. ekekeke.. *mudah2an* Oraite.. sedikit coretan d saat tepu.. Salam permisi ;)
Last weekend, I went to Malacca with my parents, Ami Nandez and Coach A. Attending Bambam's wedding (groom's side) & later walk around Malacca. One day is not enough to explore Malacca... :) The trip was indeed a tiring one.. Poor our pilot, we slept soundly, he need to drive.. Herewith, the photos taken.. *seronok!*
Remember my phone was lost @ AJL26? U know what, I got it back! Gazzillliiionnn thanks to Coach A!!! I don't know how he managed to find it (he refused to tell me so!) & I am in disbelief when he call me last 3 nights and told me that, he found it. awwhh.. sweet sweet baby.. I owe you a lot and am grateful to have you! So, we went to KL Sentral 2 days ago to meet the person who have it. Wawa is the name. We hope on ERL to get there. My heart pumping harder. I am about to meet my "savior" in a while.. x taw nape gabra.. As soon as we reached there, we head to McD. Coach A was hungry.. sian die x lunch x. *Earlier of the day, I had this bakery course at Kolej Komuniti Hulu Langat-under the Latihan 1Malaysia programme.. =)
Wawa came with her friends. But a while, sayang.. I really hope that she stayed and have hi-tea with us.. to show my gratitude and thanks. Manyy manny thanks to her. I now know that there are lotsa people out there who are sincere, honest and full of integrity.. I wannabe one of them.. =)
Malam td aku p AJL26 dengan Coach A. 2 hari ktorang pening nak pakai baju ape. Tema smart casual. Almaklumlah, pertama kali p acara seumpama ini. Last2, belasah je pakai ape. Macam la kite yg nak lalu blue carpet tuh.. kuikuikui.. Kitorang gerak dari Putrajaya jam 6.30pm melalui MEX dan sampai dalam jam 7pm++. After park, straight to the stadium. Ramai orang sangat nok.. aku jadi 'segan' lak.. *tetibe*.. tu yg menonong x pandang kiri kanan tu. Masuk je dewan (kami dapat complimentary VIP tickets seh.. tenkiu very much kepada penaja.. heh).. kami menonong je duduk kat level 2, padahal, boleh je p Arena n amek port dekat dengan pentas. Dayummm! rugi rugi rugi.. kami x nampak lak signage & x tahu lak leh duduk situ.. owhhh, 'kerugian'.. xpe xpe.. gara2 'ngopeng' org len tanya mane seat vip dan dimaklumkan boleh duduk kat situ, maka kamipun melabuhkan punggung di situ. taun depan aku duduk depan tv! setel.. ^__^ *time masuk tu, ternampak Yuna & band beliau.. wow! she is so tall & slim! nak amek gambar, beliau dikelilling oleh peminat beliau. so, cam bese la amek gambar candid (curik!).. hahaha. x mjadik lak. gegar. gegegege
Yay! Dengan tamatnya masa menjawab OSM504 petang semalam, maka dengan rasminya juga, tamat sudah Final Exam untuk semester yang ke-5 ini.. Phewwww! Keempat-empat paper aku jawab dan aku keluar awal.. Apa gunanya termenung dan menyeksa diri kan? ekekeke.. Papehal, aku dah jawab sedaya upaya. Hopefully, lepas lah kesemuanya.. Apa yang pasti, semester depan, aku nak amek 2 subjek ja.. Aku ni ade 'selected memory' dan susah nak ingat.. Tapi kan, aku terbaca satu blog ini. memang membuka mata aku lah.. katanya, "jangan paksa diri belajar/membaca sesuatu subjek tu sehingga stress dan tak ingat apa yang dipelajari. Tapi, anggap ianya sesuatu perkara baru yang bermanfaat untuk dipelajari dan cuba terapkan perasaan ingin tahu terhadap subjek tersebut. Nescaya, kamu akan belajar dengan seronok dan pemahaman terhadap sesuatu subjek tu akan lebih jelas. Paling penting, bila kamu sudah mengetahui/mempelajari subjek tersebut, kongsilah dengan orang lain.. demi kebaikan diri dan masyarakat.. " haaa.. begitulah sedikit sebanyak tips yg beliau bagi.. betul tu babe.. final exam ritu, aku x membaca/ulangkaji tunggang langgang.. but, i find d right time/mood, baca in a fun way.. puff! boleh la aku ingat walau x sepenuhnya.. I will definitely change my style of study.. ;)
Dah jadi tebiat lak tengok muvi saat2 minggu tayangan akhir.. Heh.. Coach A yang ajak tengok semalam.. Aku, follow jer.. ingatkan nak 'berpantang' lah kan sampai last paper.. xpe.. tinggal satu paper je lagipun.. heh.. mase p kaunter tiket tu, mmg ade bnyk seat kosong lah.. so, as usual, kami akan cari seat yang kat area tengah.. hehe.. memandangkan x sempat nak dinner, kami bli jer bebola ayam, dan jagung sebagai alas perut.. nak naik tu, ade lak sekumpulan sahabat ala2 Maher Zain.. hehehe.. sampai jer, kami tunggu dalam 10 menit camtu lah sebelum citer tu muler.. x mengharap sangatlah bahawa muvi ini akan menghiburkan kami.. tambahan pula, yang earlier sequel pun x tengok lagik.. :P
Setelah hampir 2 jam menonton, ternyata amattttt menghibuarkan.. citer ni sangattttlah bestt.. kelakar dan banyak lah twist dier.. apart from interesting journey and hurdles, there were actions that kinda made my heart jump! ehe.. then, bahasa sangatlah inggeris baku... seb bek ade subtitle, so, xdela kene 'tinggal kapal'.. miahahah.. Aku sangat suke wedding gown Mrs. Watson.. simple yet elegant.. haruslah kene dengan taste aku.. (teringat gown Kate Middleton.. kelasss!) hehehe.. Mr. Sherlock Holmes ni macam x betul sket tapi, super genius.. pandang jauh ke hadapan.. bak kate Coach A.. Bijak Sana.. ! ehe.. Mr. Watson lak, sangat pengemas orang nye.. sentiasa smart jer.. ehe.. gentleman lah katekan.. apart from these 2, d most remembered part is during the part at Mr. Holmes' house. remember the butler-Stanley? "Stanley.. where are you going?" Cool dow dier.. heheheheh..
Overall, ibu jari lah dan tepuk tangan..
Cheers! =)
Haaa.. semalam mase log in i-class, aku ternampak la announcement nih.. Agihan Baucar Buku 1Malaysia.. wehhuuu! RM200 yoo.. Walaupun semester ni dah habis, tapi baucar ni sangat berguna n aku rase nak beli buku2 untuk future reference.. balance tu nanti, boleh la angkat sama itu sedikit stationeries.. kalo ade lagi balance, nak redeem novel boleh? ngehngehngeh.. Well, baucar ni Pak PM dah announce dah mase Pembentangan Bajet 2012 last year.. for bebudak STPM onwards.. Sangat grateful yoo~ Kene amek cecepat coz valid until end of March 2012.. Rasenye, Kak Zihan and d gang dah amek kot tadi.. Lusa nak tanya derang lah .. ;) Kalo nak tahu info yg lebih lanjut, sila layari Baucar Buku 1Malaysia
Mase aku tecik.. aku tersangatlah hyper dan tersangatlah comot.. eheheh.. sangat ingin tahu n sangat suke berjalan/explore tempat baru.. Aku pernah sesat kot dalam hutan.. hahahaha.. p mana2, orang akan ingat aku adalah lelaki.. :P bile da besar sket, curiosity aku memang x sudah2.. dan aku ade simpan satu cita-cita nih.. slalunye, kalo cikgu tanye cita2 aku kat kelas, aku akn jawab standard-nak jadi cikgu.. ehehe.. tapi sebenarnya, jauh di lubuk hati.. aku teringin sangat nak menjadi pramugari.. bile aku suarakan kepada mak aku, terus die gelak kat aku.. almaklumlah, aku ni rendang, chubby, gelap, kurang cantik.. hehehe.. betul gak tu.. terasa la sket, tapi aku sedar diri.. (kadang2 bile aku belek cermin, aku rase aku ok jer.. :P ) hehehe.. tapi sebenarnya, mak aku risau dengan 'dunia' atas awan nih.. macam2 lah justifikasinya.. muncung sekejap lah aku bile xde sokongan.. ehehehe.. (well..not wrong to dream right? eheh..)
Aku nak jadi pramugari sebab aku tak penah naik belon (kapal terbang). Aku slalu imagine macamne perasaan kat belon tu.. sambil membelah awan.. melihat laut dan gunung ganang dari atas.. to wear that kebaya (MAS punye kebaya).. buat sanggul siput stewardess MAS.. travel ke luar negara.. awesomeness! aku rase, ianya satu kerjaya yang sangat kelaaass! seriously, this is my thing! *kalo aku nak rase sume tu, aku boleh je bercita2 nak jd pilot ker, air fighter ker, angkasawati ker.. hehehe* kalo tengok citer yg ade scene atas belon kan, mule la mata aku membundar sebesar2nya.. hehehehe.. n then mula la fikiran merawang.. waaaaahh~
Tapi, cita2 aku x kesampaian.. ape nak buat~~
Korang dulu mase tecik, ape cita2 ek? ^___^
FYI, minggu ini bebudak yuuaiitiiieemm da stat final exam dah. Maka, bersungguh-sungguh la mokcik beli minyak tanah & burn d midnight oil.. kuikuikui.. Perasaannye, of coz bercampur baur.. Persiapannye, tengok pass yr questions -> fahami pattern soalan -> target pade topic yg rase2 akan kluar.. (kate study smart..? hahaha) Papehal pun, usaha selagi terdaya, jawab selagi boleh sembang jauh.. ahahaha..
A very good luck to all my coursemates! =)
*Ni skarang pun tengah musem doriyan nehh.. hehehe..